Parenthood… Career… Social Life… Family… SANITY…
HOW DOES ONE BALANCE IT ALL?!
Let me tell you… it is extremely difficult. Being 25 years old, a wife, a mother, a social butterfly, a teacher, a student and an ADULT in general is really, really hard. Now, I am not looking for a pity party or for anyone to feel bad. However, I am going to talk about how I get through it.
When I got pregnant, I was 22. So, when most people my age were in their prime of going to bars, partying, living their life, I was getting ready for a whole other journey. After I had my son, I felt very isolated from my friends, as does any young mom. As he has gotten older, I have tried to reach out more and let my friends know that just because I am a mom, doesn’t mean I can’t come out sometimes. There are things that we can’t do, but we can still be social 20-something year olds and part of society. Making your friends aware that it’s okay for a mom to go out and live their life sometimes helped a lot. As we say #mommasnightout and we make the best of it every time.
Having a social life isn’t that easy for some parents, though. We have been fortunate enough to have parents who are willing to help out if we go out to dinner to catch up with friends or have a party to go to. I understand not everyone has that. Keeping friends when you are the only one in your group that has a child is tough. I was told from the get-go that I would realize who my true friends were once I gave birth and that was the honest truth. You see who stays and who goes. The ones who go aren’t worth it. However, the ones who stay are there for you and if you don’t have the advantage of a babysitter or parents who want to help out, have your friends come to you! If they are there for you, they will be there for your child and will understand.
My advice, especially for young moms who are struggling to balance everything is to lean on your support system; ASK FOR HELP. I could not have gotten through my first couple months without my parents. Especially when I got my first job when Tommy was just 4 months old, I needed people helping me. I think as moms we are sometimes too proud to ask for help. Let me tell you, it is the worst decision ever to not ask for help. Even if it isn’t your parents, maybe it’s your best friend, or aunt or uncle or someone who cares about you. Maybe it’s someone is a support group you’re in. Find a support system and keep them close because they are the ones who will help you get through hard times.
Through everything, I think I have really learned that I need to stay calm, breath and do the best I can. I can’t be perfect. I can’t be there for everything and sometimes, I need to do what I think is best and that’s how I stay sane through all of this. I have to stop and remember how fortunate I am to have my child, my friends, my family, my life… I know that I will struggle, and that’s ok. Sometimes this balancing act seems almost impossible, but that’s when you have to step back, breathe and start again.
Until the next post…